#2 Infusion

Yesterday was infusion number two. In the morning I dyed my hair. Take a look. Never in my life have I dyed my hair, so now is the time. This week is when it is supposed to fall out. I can't tell if it looks blonde or some funky orange color. Gloria gave me the blue pillow and the blanket. So, with a little pitch, sorry, it still stings, but the cool cool stuff starts going through. Then the pink stuff, I now call that White Zinfandel. Like in real life, that wine gives me a headache and this stuff they push thru the IV also gives me a headache. Got done in two hours. Met a nice lady that does gourd art. Neat stuff. I decided that there needs to be a birdfeeder outside of the windows. Like looking at the mountains, watching the birds gets me in a good spot. So, I have to look and see if we have one here - otherwise I'll splurge and go to my favorite birdfeed store. Have to go for myself anyhow, I'll just add it to the list.
Ask me how I feel. Go back a week and two days to last Wednesday. Yep. Poor Dad - sorry - I felt as if Lilli was screaming, trying to hold down a conversation with my Dad and stirring noodles. I did that with my sister too, all I could do was hear the kids playing soccer in the background. So, off to Target to get my "magic mouthwash" for the mouth sores, on my list are HUGE sunglasses. That should help. I went to bed at 8 last night. Woke at 1p.m. Yikes, I was barfy. Double yikes, this sucks. I took one of my new drugs. And thank heavens that worked!!!! So,I have to wait until 9a.m. to take another. Oops, got to take my Emend (I don't know about that spelling). I am going to drop Lilli off, head over for my white blood count booster and see if I feel like that drive to Target. So everyone, I am 1/2 thru the chemo!!!!! What a great feeling. Now, the year of the herceptin treatments will be different, I think those only take 2 or so hours every three weeks. Yes, all done my IV. And, the side effects do not include hair loss.

Here we are number two. Hey-where is my nurse? Yes, Karen scolded me for saying "the" nurse in the first posting. Again, both of these nurses are on the level of saints.

Karen got a picture of my hair. OK, so it is not blonde, it looks like when I was growing up - strawberry blonde.

Eggnog Latte and Christmas Music

Now is the time to have your eggnog latte and enjoy some Christmas music. See, I have this rule that NO ONE should have an eggnog latte (cut with skim milk) until after Thanksgiving. So, shoo - go - enjoy that cup of joe. And, then, turn on the x-mas music. I went to the Dr. today - what a guy! He gave me new drugs to help the barfy feeling and lots of "you can do this" pats on the back. Looked in my mouth, yep, I have the mouth sores. No salt please. So, after my visit with the Dr. and then blood drawn, I stopped at Starbucks and got a latte. Switched over to the easy listening station that is all Christmas music all of the time. Sang a few songs - sipped my latte and before you knew it I was across town and at school. Gosh I love walking on that campus. I can feel myself not so hunched over anymore. Still, no feeling in the Thing 1 - very strange indeed! Ok, it is late, I worked on my 2nd project to get done "before dooms day" and in the morning I'll attempt #3 project. Did all of my barfy shopping, got sprite, ginger ale, protein bars, flavored water and corn. That should do to get me through. This time I am taking Mary's advice and drinking 6-8 glasses of water. OH my goodness, before I sign out...I walked past this room today and this lady was laying down and her face looked orange. Too much makeup I think, but it scared me so I did not want to look any further! Yikes. Gloria made me a nice blanket and pillow for my arm so I'll take those with. Just think, by tomorrow night I'll be 1/2 over....with chemo - still another year with the other stuff.

Here is the picture of Old Town - that will be us next weekend walking around. Can't wait!

Six weeks out

Here are some pictures of the Thing 1. This is six weeks out of the lymph node surgery. Here is how I feel. My stomach - it is like I have a big piece of scotch tape horizontal across my stomach. Pulling. It is not like the mending of the hip to hip cut - but I can feel the left side is "short". Guess it is because it is in my boob. Which by the way, is healing and I think all of the swelling is gone. Nice SMALL Thing 1. Oh well. Guess I should had the plastic surgeon take the fat from my thighs to make it bigger....on the other hand, ouch. No more. My arm, as you can see in the picture - I can almost do the full stretch over my head. Still can feel under the armpit. Oh well - who needs to feel there anyway. By now I am sure that I could braid that hair - don't care and sorry if that grosses you out my fair reader. It is reality. So, I am getting ready for my 2nd chemo on Thursday. I have to clean the fridge out on Tuesday. That was the worst thing the last time. Ick. I also am determined to not get sick over the weekend. I am going to take all of the medication and who cares if I am loopy. Not me! Just get through it! Why you may ask. I won 4 tickets to the Nutcracker on Saturday. Yes I did. I LOVE the Nutcracker and can't wait to take Lilli and Chris. Even if we see 1/2 of it - that is OK. So, I was listening to my favorite classical station today (NPR stinks during the day here) and boom - I called in an was and was the 6th caller. I won. Who knows where the seats are, the venue is Popejoy Hall at the University. And then, after that, our Starlight parade. Big day, like I say - I can't be barfy. OK, I am now tired after going to my class tonight. Talk to you later.
Here is my sweet out of focus girl eating peanut butter (we are focusing on protein)
Here is Thing 1. Looks nice - huh. I don't know about you - it looks like I could put my change in that little pocket and zip it up.
Here is the sun belly button. How did they re-do it? I don't know. And don't want to know.
This is how far I can reach over my head.

Wow - I feel good

Finally - I feel pretty good today. The down side is that I just keep eating. Strange. Made a really good cucumber, garlic, dill, mushroom salad - a twist to grandmas - I put a bit of Vidalia dressing on the top as well as olive oil. Short story - brought it for a side dish - forgot it in the frig - and now I am eating it for dinner. Strange how I really want to eat the good food.

Anyhow - the day is over - I am so Thankful that each day is getting closer to get done with this process. I am very Thankful for my family, far and near (I just can't imagine doing this without you). I am Thankful that my husband takes on the Lilli responsibility and does a nice job with that. Thankful for all of my friends, new and old. And mostly, Thankful that Lilli did not figure out that the "coins" given to her tonight contained chocolate until she opened one on the ride home - after hours of playing with them! Seriously, life has such a strange way to make you laugh. If you have not heard this one - Lilli will hold your head between her two hands and say "I miss you so much". Can't do anything but give a little giggle.

No early morning shopping - I figure that we will spend the morning doing something fun. Stay away from those crazy crowds and maybe go wild and splurge on a Happy Meal!

Happy Thanksgiving -

I can't find a picture of a Turkey - or figure out how to save it on the computer at school - oh well. I am getting ready for the 4p.m. class, the day before Thanksgiving - posted my paper and hope for the best. I am close to plugging away at the rest of the papers to get them done by next Thursday - DOOMS DAY (2nd infusion). That way, I can take all of the drugs I need to take and not get sick.

We are going to some friends early in the pm for Turkey and stuffing. As I said, we will be very nice guests - we will bring food, stay for a while and leave. I am packing a few videos for Lilli as I am sure she'll be looking for something to do - then again they have 3 dogs.

My favorite nurse called me back about the headaches and got me some other stuff. I realized that my appointment is next week and not today - then I panicked - I can't be this icky all weekend - they are closed~~~~~ by the end of this I am sure we will get it figured out.

And, note to self (yes everyone out there) each person reacts differently to chemo. So I hope that many other people don't get these nasty headaches and barfy feeling. For me, I think I am going to buy big sunglasses and cover my ears. Make the stupid people go away....oh - did I say that out loud.

See, I am still not myself and I am going to sign off. Who wants to listen to a gal who mouth is tingly, head is tingly (Chris keeps pulling on my hair - is it falling out? yes - he is going to shave it - mister smarty pants!)

I'll take some nice pictures of our day in Placitias.

It has been a few days

I feel like shit.

But, the good news is that I got up this morning and took a shower before noon. My head is screaming, I am going to the dr. today. I hope he can give me something for these headaches.

Yuck.

Can I just pull the covers over my head?

Do you think anyone would notice if I didn't come out of my room for the day? All and all, I have been battling a be of nausea - similar to when pregnant. The pills have helped but I took one this morning and it made me so tired and jittery. We went to the zoo for some fresh air and then I came home and slept for 2 hours.

One more pill tonight and then I am over the 48 hour time.

That is about it for now - I am signing off and getting under my covers.

I am taking no calls at the moment.....

That was yesterday - I did not talk to anyone in the morning. That is me - when it really gets tense - I stop talking.

Yesterday I was really scared. There was no way to mince those words into anything other than that. My chemo appt was at 1p.m. and I took my 1hour before drug. Took a shower and off I went.


As it turned out, I was the only one there. This office is small, there are 5 recliners with IV poles next to them. So, here we go. I had with me: my computer (to grade papers), my new book Eat, Pray, Love (which I gave to my mom to read but I thought that I needed it now so I splurged on a book for myself. You know those gift certificates you get and tuck away for a rainy day - well right now I am in Monsoon type of rains), water, chocolate covered Altoids (I can eat those by the tin - ask me about the morning after....). I was set for my 2-3 hours ordeal.

My Blood Pressure was OK, 115/70 - the more nervous I get the lower it gets - strange - does someone crawl into my subconscious and made me calm down? My O2 was 96 - guess I am breathing. Temp was fine. All a go!

I sat in the chair and told them about my "blown" vein from last week. The used the vein on the top of my hand. The norm "You'll feel a prick" I did. But, not too bad. My nurses are Karen and Chris, or is it Khris, either way they are the same I just need to find out the correct way to write it. They put the anti nausea drugs in first - Karen has to push that in. Then I sat for a while and she came back with the pink "nair". Anyone use nair on your legs. That is what it is doing inside to get out all of the bad and good cells. The nurse gave that analogy and I like it. Karen had to push that through. Did it hurt? No, you know something is going in because it is cold but no hurt. When I IV started wiggling around, I too did the jello wiggle dance. Strange feeling!

I pulled out the chocolate Altoids after the pink stuff. Had a couple. They tasted great. Now this morning. Yuk. I am not going to look at them. As I write this, I pulled out the frozen "Yo Kids" Stonyfield Farm yogurt sticks. I had one last night too. They taste great. I also have my candied ginger next to me.

I came home with a WHOPPER of a headache. I survived the night. Woke up and said - did I drink a bottle of wine or what. Heavy head and headache. So far so good, no barfing. If that does happen it will be today or Saturday. My hope is that it won't happen. I have "just in case" meds and the nurse gave me something else - just in case.

Overall - I am good and peed orange last night and this morning. That pink stuff, and yellow pee equal - orange!!!! They warned me.

Off to get Lilli to the sitter, get my day after shot and I am coming home to take it easy.




Here is Chris in all of his glory.
Here is Karen - the nurse (she got her nose pierced at 50! See....). Got my first chemo done and had pleasant conversation - could you ask for anyone better????
Here is the miss know it all - Chris. She understands.

Here are the top dollar meds. Note to self - I find myself spacey for some reason. Here is proof. I wrote the dates on them and the third one is on 11/17/07. Yikes I need to change that!

Here is my arm with the IV
I look drugged. Nope, just someone said something funny and I took the picture.

There it is 1 down and 3 to go. I can do this. My self talk was 77% positive as I was entering the office. I am strong, I can handle this. If others have done it, I can do this too. I just kept thinking that. And then, I put my hands into the hands of those wonderful nurses and we talked the 2 1/2 hours. It was my outlet to talk, they knew that and let me talk. Could it be any better than that.

Getting Ready

I bought one of those smoothie things. It really works, I also have stocked up on ginger stuff.


Here is a pic of my new chemo hat - my sister made me lots of them to keep my head warm when it gets cold out. They are FANCY!



And of Course a hat for Lilli to match Mommy!

Taking the slow road home

The day started too early - dropping Lilli off in her PJ's at 7a.m. so I could get across town to have my teeth cleaned. I survived the visit to the dentist and I am here to talk about it. Here is something I did not think of - those chairs you sit in at the dentist, they tilt you back. Mind you, I still can't really lay down flat, now they want to tip me back and clean my teeth. Delightful. Got my trophy - the new toothbrush and went on my merry way. Got to school and I am trying to dig into my research paper for stats, yuck. My prof last night told us that she missed class last week because she was in Vegas and all she did was sleep. (Her husband was there for a conference and I really understand what she was saying - nice room and nice view of the Belliago fountains.) And she felt GREAT. Well goody - I was acting like Fred Flinstone (isthat how you spell it?) with the toothpicks in my eyes, I was so tired. So I thought to myself - guess I need to go on a real vacation and sleep. Hmmmmm when is that going to happen, when Lilli is 19????? Until then, I'll just keep a pack of toothpicks handy.

Today I decided to take the slow route home from school. It is down Rio Grande and you go 25 miles per hour. The leaves were falling and it was really a great day. I liken my time in the car to when I used to travel and have time alone. So, I guess right now, that is good as it gets - time alone in the car.

If anyone is interested there is a video from 60 minutes on what I want to do my dissertation on, at least how the boomers deal with the other generations. Here is the link. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/08/60minutes/main3475200.shtml

My sister made me a whole box of fun chemo caps and one matching for Lilli. Darn it - I can't get the pictures to download. I'll have to restart my computer and try in the morning. My head is going to be nice and toasty when it gets nippy out!

I am so tired. I was really exhausted when I got home, could hardly move. But alas, dinner needs to be made (thanks Dad and Lisa - Do it dinners did it again - chicken and green chile's, Yum!) dishes need to be done, baths need to take off the "blue lipstick" and I need to get into the two classes I am teaching. It is 9p.m. on the dot and I said I would quit to watch the news. So, off I go and lets see how much news I get to see, that is OK, I'll just read it in the paper in the morning.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH one last thing. Does anyone want to get their nose pierced with me? I am serious - I have always loved that and now I don't have a tattoo, I think I'll show my funkiness a different way. Just a very small stud that sparkles in the sun. Why not I say.

That is it. Tomorrow - take a slow road and enjoy the ride.

To pull or not to pull that is is the question

I thought is would be a good day to post my boob. And, the best way to describe why I do this - is that with the people that I know, friends and family, and the 6 degrees of separation - I bet that someone you will know - will want to see the progress. It also is for me to document the days and the weeks. I think my sister said it the best today, time keeps going. Meaning that as bad as it is, it does get better.
After I took a shower today, I tried to see if the last scab which is really stitches would come off. It didn't. So, should I pull it and zip - the Thing 1 falls a part. I did not dare so that! I clipped it with a scissors. I bet another couple of showers and I'll be off. My belly button still looks like the sun. Now that my stomach muscle is getting comfortable in its new home, the swelling is going down and Thing 1 is really a bit smaller than Thing 2. Looks like this summer will be the time to get Thing 2 lifted.

Just in case my friend is asking if the pics are upside down, nope this is correct. Well, this is a big week so I am heading off to bed.

Muga Day

Today I had the Muga test. I called a friend right before the test because I was 15 minutes early for my 15 minutes before the actual appointment time. If I could take all of the times that I am early and put it in a jar - pull it out as needed. How nice. But, that does not work. I also was thinking that I should start carrying around some of those flashcards I was talking about earlier. Guess I need to make them first! So here is the scoop. Went in, got my blood drawn. Pic 1. Waited 40 minutes while the guy mixed my blood with the nuclear stuff. Seriously, he comes out with this big thing that looks very scary and at the top was the syringe. I did not want to look. I don't want to know!!!! Now, for all of you that have not had shots or blood drawn lately, if the person starts asking you about your personal life, you know that they are trying to get your mind off of the NEEDLE. I felt a little poke, and then - he said - is that puffing up. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD! The vein is puffing up - this is not good. I look at him and say, yes - it is puffed. And then, he tried to push a bit of my "blood" back. OUCH. He pulled out the needle and put a cotton thing on it. The vein just burst. I just don't want to know at this point. I am sure it heals quickly!

He put it in another vein and all was good.

Then, I went into the room and got into the machine. The images took about an hour to do. I had to wear this thing around my arms to hold them because they slide the armrests back. Can't explain it - but it was not comfortable. THEN he put the machine coming right down on me and I said - hey don't break the new boob!!!!! Seriously, I did say that and it really was resting on my boobs.

It is hard to see on the screen but the computer, each square is an image of my heart pumping that stuff thru it. This is a baseline test. As he explained, if I get exhausted during chemo it maybe because damage to the heart.
Here is my hand with the bursted vein and the good vein.









I have slipped back into my old ways of being busy so by the end of the day I am pooped, but press on. For those of you that know people that go through this or something similar, just remember, it take a long time to come back 100%. I don't have the tolerance for silly things and I am not going to spend my energy on negative things. Which goes back to talking to my friend earlier in the day. Over the years, I have had some people that have drained the life out of me. And, I have chosen to not stay in contact with those people. Other friends, it seems as if I talk to one or two friends during the week, it is so refreshing to hear about normal stuff. Not about this crap that I am going through. So, I am trying to listen more, talk less. I listened to the Human Kind radio program today. I can't find it, I think they piece it together - but here is a link:http://www.humanmedia.org/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=39.
Get your hankies out - this is powerful. I think it is such a great idea - dying with grace. Coordinating volunteers, people come from around the world to volunteer their services of unconditional love. No motives, nothing but just really being there for another human. And then I thought how New Mexico is magical, and it would be such a great place to have that here for people. You know me, lots of ideas! Some stick others don't.

I also highly recommend just going to www.humanmedia.org and looking for David Allen.

I went to the health sciences library to meet my group. It is such a beautiful library, I think I should try it for a while.

Happy to say that tomorrow is Friday. I am ready to relax for an hour or so. Saturday is fun day. There is a children's book fair at school and then a huge art fest. Next weekend is the crane celebration. Hope I am well enough to attend. I think that the 3 pills I picked up today (you know the $350 worth). Some of the side effect of this drug - vomiting, hair loss, constipation, diarrhea .....wait a minute - why am I taking these - I thought it was to avoid nausea.

Enough for tonight. Did I mention the word of the night last night - meta cognitive.

It is 6 weeks to the day - gosh - how time does fly when you have fun. My nodes arm is still really sore and range of motion is getting much better. I can really feel that my stomach muscle is still healing. Other than that - all is good. My $350 prescription is ready for pick up. Time that by 4 - and there are 4 pills per prescription. You better bet your bottom dollar that this stuff is good for the nausea. If not - I'll be calling my Dr. Thank heavens my insurance covers $310 of that. $40 still seems like a lot - but happy to pay it. My BCBS covers all the expenses on the Chemo and Herceptin treatments. Funny when I checked and they said "if it is medical necessary" do people get these treatments for fun? Yuck.

Went to class tonight, as usual, got really excited and over active. On the way back to catch the bus to go to my car, I was in the crosswalk and almost got hit by a jeep. Oh my goodness - I am going to have to get some of those reflector things. Can you imagine going through this only to be hit by a young thing in a Jeep!!!!

No boys allowed.

I am thinking about having a get together out here. Maybe in the spring or early summer. Ojo Caliente comes to my mind, but I also think that the Ghost Ranch would be good too. http://www.ghostranch.org/site-content/bed--breakfast/rest-and-relaxation-at-ghost-ranch-abiquiu.html

It would be great to get away and just "be" for a few days. It is so beautiful here. I came up with this a long time ago, then I was talking to Amy and said that we needed to get together, then talked to Susan and same thing, so I started thinking - why not have an open invitation for all of us. That would be fun. So think about it - let me know. Friendship is so very important and being real, while being your authentic self is great. Ponder that.

Time to go to bed, get stressed about the Muga test tomorrow and my dentist 6 month check up on Wednesday. Hell why not, 6 month check up on Wed, chemo on Thursday STRESSSSSSSSS!

What I have found....

A Family that wears together, shares together!
OH, here is a pic of me doing what - I don't know - Lilli took it. But I do notice that I look so serious.














I saw this on the Komen newsgroup. Today I needed a bit of a "the club" talk.















Attitude


There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?" So she did and she hada wonderful day.


The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "H-M-M," she said, "I think ! I'll part my hair down the middle today?" So she did and she had a grand day!


The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.


The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"


Attitude is everything.


Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.


Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly.......











I also would like to talk about pants. Do you ever get that feeling that your fly is open. I get that all of the time! Why - note to self - I cannot feel anything below my incision to my leg. I keep worrying that I can't feel the wind blowing into my pants if I leave my fly open. Maybe I should be wearing dresses!

And, I got my flu shot today. One shot down......how many to go? Tomorrow is week 6 - I should be all better they say, well I have thoughts on being all better, looking all better, and not being all better. But, you'll have to wait for that.......

Things to think about while at school

It is Saturday - I am in school at 8a.m. until 3:30p.m. (it was supposed to end at three and I was to yell "UNCLE"). I get home, my sweet baby is sleeping, my husband took her to the zoo and let her play in the big girl play area. Good thing I wasn't there, I would have had a heart attack.

I was sitting in class, through 16 presentations (yuck) and something occurred to me. Really, I have thought about this earlier, but here it is. Now, for those of you that get offended easily, please don't continue to read. The rest of you, here are my thoughts. I at some point will get a tattoo for a nipple. Here is the funny part. When you get lets say...cold, there is only one nipple that will show through the bra or shirt. I guess that is the winking thing going on with the Thing 1. Ok, there you go. That is what I was thinking about today. Also, I was reminded that at one time I knew many of the theorist, and I need to brush up. Maybe flash cards in my spare time. Hey- when I am sitting there for two hours in the chemo chair........

Yep, it is confirmed I start on Nov. 15th and it'll be every other week for 4 rounds of chemo. There was a question of my nodes being positive, the Dr. (love this Doc!) double checked and in fact something about being positive but really is negative. All I care about is that I get the killer meds 4 times not 6! This is funny. My mom came with me to my Dr's appointment. She scheduled to be here on her way to Scottsdale and help me take notes. No, did not record. So, we thought of questions before we went in. One of them was "can I eat grape fruit"? You know all of the hoopla about how it mixes with drugs etc. The Dr. looked at me like is this gal crazy. He smirked and said I was the first one to ask him about that. Do I get a SMART sticker for that (or just a dummy one).

I have to go on Tuesday for this muga thing. It is a nuclear medicine test for heart. All I could re think was those little shots in my nipple before surgery. I don't know. Guess I'll find out. The reason for the test is to get a baseline of my heart. The chemo drugs that I have and then the drugs after that for my Her 2 thing both have side effects of hurting the heart.

I also have to get a shot the day after the chemo to keep my white blood count up, and then get stuck for other tests one week after, then the day before to run tests. Hey, can anyone say OUCH this sucks.

The doc and nurse looked at my veins. They are good she said! Yippee I say. She counted four veins that they can do the chemo. But, if that does not work I get that Pic line. Also sometimes the drugs make those veins hard. Goody. And, I was told that there maybe "pain" when my hair falls out. Double goody. What the hell! Who ordered this special treatment.

Back to the appointment. My mom took notes. Oh, I need to go back to that recording because I found out that there were cancer cells in my blood vessels when they did the pathology report. I don't recall that being told to me. I asked the Dr. to look again to see if he was reading the correct patient! I am sure I was getting on his nerves. See, I'll take back my control when I can get it since I have lost so much of it.

Here is something that happened to me on the way home. I stopped to get my meds for before chemo and during to make sure I don't get nauseated. Hell at this point I am asking about marijuana. because I am so afraid of getting sick! No, I wouldn't do that......I guess these other drugs are awesome. So, I am at Walgreens drive up. I gave him my visa (debit with my pic on it) and my license. The guy said, hey you cut your hair and dyed it. Funny guy I say! He was so super nice, I looked at him, remember I am at the drive up window, does my hair look darker or lighter? Darker he says. Ahhhhhh OK. Well, I tell him, I'll be losing in a few weeks anyhow. Now, I don't know if that was appropriate, but I figured he knew the medication I was getting and for what - so it would all make sense. Note to self, get a new license with short hair because I do look different. I 'll put that on my list after flu shot and before muga test.

Long day, long week. I'll close with this. I walked up to see my advisor with the admin lady from my dept. She has something going on with her, hunched over and uses a cane. I like her, she is in-depth and has a quick tongue. As we walked and talked, she got into the office and said, don't tell me that you are going to make lemonade. Meaning, when life hands you lemons....

Hell no I say, there are days that just suck. And furthermore, you know that saying about "today is a present", well there are days I want to exchange that frickin' present for a better day. On that note my friends, we will talk later.