It was a delightful day here. Warm, windy and it rained - but overall nice. Tomorrow I am going to sniff outside for a minute to get my fill of fresh air. I also think a little sponge bath is in order, then I'll figure out what to wear. Here is the thing, I have two drains coming out of my stomach, there is a cut from hip to hip and he sucked out the fat. Really I say, in a few weeks I'll let you know how those "skinny" pants fit. You know, we all have those pants hiding somewhere!

But, the drains really hurt when pulled, I about clawed out Chris' eyes this morning. Poor guy - he was draining and "milking" the drains. OUCH it pulled and sharp pains. I ate another pain pill right after that. Home healthcare nurse came. Super sweet. I begged her not to hurt me.....and she just took my vitals, looked at the "wound" and went on her way. But, I find myself talking to these people for a long time. The are interesting and are happy to see "healthy" people.

So, on to my pants, I have these drains that I can't put underwear over, and a skirt is not an option. I think some PJ Shorts and I'll cut them for the drains sounds OK.

Hair is oily and icky. I am restricted on my dairy intake, not sure why. I am going to break the rules in the morning and have coffee with milk. Wow, living on the edge.

Could I have not timed it better, showtime has one of those "free" weekends. Yippee, mindless movies - I love it. I'll start back to school stuff on Monday or Tuesday. It is the last week of my teaching so that makes me happy. I have two papers due and I am sure I can do that this week.

So, valium, why would the Doc give that to me? I am thinking I am popping those before I get these drains out. OUCH>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lilli is coming home tomorrow. We made the right choice of having her go with my mom. Then, my mom will come down for the week. She'll shuttle Lilli to and from the babysitter to get her back on schedule.

I tried returning some calls today and missed some people. Just wanted to update this blog to let you know that all is OK, handling pain and need to write a list of what to bring to the hospital since it is at the top of my mind. My sister gave me some moist towels, with lotion, like baby wipes but better, those saved my life! On the other hand, don't get hard candies that make you gag - seriously, I had those cough drops that were aweful and made me cough - remember - my stomach muscle is now part of my boob.

Ok dokay - more a bit later.
Ali

Slow and steady

I am back home. It hurts, but mostly my stomach! I will have some pictures later. Here is the deal - 2 1/2 hour surgery 2 hours recovery (could't pee). So, morphine was gone on Thursday morning.

But, I made it and I am here at home. Chris just drained my 4 drains and we got through it. OH, here is the big news, no more tatoo! The cancer was in such a big area that she had to take more than orginally thought and I woke to no tatoo. Wow, the lengths people go to get them gone.

Enough, I am heading for a lap around the house (ever so happy our house is small) and then back to the recliner. My happy pills are right next to me.

I bet tomorrow I'll write more and can download my pictures.
Ali

All Gone and Moving Forward

Just a quick note from Ali's sister. Ali flew through the surgery yesterday in 2 1/2 hours. After 3 hours of waiting for her to arrive in the recovery room (and Chris being scolded by the head nurse for trying to locate her), she was delivered to her hospital room #806....looking just FABULOUS! Her tummy was sore and tender, her arm an attractive yellow hue. She is scheduled to travel home on Friday, as long as all checks out with her doctors and nurses. She has given up sit-ups for the next couple of weeks, and has postponed running a marathon this weekend.

New Thoughts

So, here is what I started thinking about today - "Ali Adventure". Way back when, about 15 or so years back, I would say that we are going on an Ali Adventure. It would be fun, no one would know the outcome and we would have Ali Stories to tell after. In a matter of fact back then, I thought it would be fun to open a bar and call it Stories. In this bar - people would write their own story on napkins.....you can imagine as the night went on, the stories would get better and better.

When talking with a friend, I said, don't feel weird about calling next week when I get home. It would be fun because I'll be all drugged up! So thus - the thoughts of "Stories". And, if anyone steals my thoughts on opening a bar - good for you - just make sure you give me credit.

I also was listening to one of my favorite NPR programs - AARP. It is fascinating to hear some of the stories. Don't poo poo it until you listen! So, they were talking about breast cancer - and I thought I would pass along something to you all. http://www.sisterstudy.org/English/urgentmsg.htm

I have not sent it to my sister - so hopefully she'll grab it from here. If not - we will have some quality time when she is here to look at the site.

OK - T-7. Next week at this time my DCIS will be gone - I'll have a new boob aka. stomach muscle, a stomach that has a cut from side to side. This my friends, is just another chapter in the life of Ali's Story or even - this is the biggest adventure for sure!
More later.

My first nudity pics!

Well, of course I will not share those here - but today I went into the Plastic surgeon to get the lo down on the surgery. What to do not to do etc. And, I got some pictures taken for "before". Strange. I kept thinking, people come in here to do this for fun? Yikes. At least it was a quick 10 minute thing!

On Friday I went into the Oncologists office. Nice guy, but after waiting over 45 minutes to see him, I was a bit pissy. Who me - pissy, can you believe? So, we ended up talking and then he did an exam. He will be the one to read my pathology reports about two weeks after. He talked about this drug - can't recall what, it starts with a T and I am sure some of you know. I am going to opt not to take it. Why, I just don't want anymore drugs in this system. He says that it should be OK, and that I'll just have to do mammograms every six months and an MRI each year. Oh good, you know I love those. Guess I'd better save those drugs!

On the organizational front, this is fun, just like planning a vacation. I love to plan. So, we have it down, Auntie Mary picks up Lilli the day of surgery, then my mom comes into town the next day. My surgery is not schedule until 1p.m. But, I go in that morning at 9a.m. for that dye in the nipple thing. As my friend Tracy said - it just sounds odd and gross. I agree and painful!!!! I won't take pictures (or maybe I will) but I'll let you know the details!

So, my mom is coming down the first week and my sister the second week. Hopefully after that I can drive. Although it is a bit rough with Lilli and the car seat, I'll figure it out. I have to get all of my schoolwork done over the next week. There are a few things that are just writing and one research paper. I think I can do it in the time. I also have to get that house in order (Chris cannot find anything so I need to think like him and put things in plain view!). My biggest thing that I need to do is find a sports bra that zips or snaps up the front. Everything else is covered.

So, there is a calm before the storm!!!!!!!!

Just for fun

I happened to be on a site today which read this way:
Blog info
Welcome to my blog. If you want to follow my story, you need to start reading the oldest post first which is at the very bottom or you can jump to it by going to June 2007 and look for 'My Big Announcement'. I am writing this blog so that I can keep my friends and family up on my dealings with breast cancer. I hope to limit the number of phone calls I get by posting information here. I have not listed my email address either but if you know me, you know how to contact me.

It is not my blog...but here is something that one struggles with when you come out with the news (no I am not gay but I am having a major life challenge...) it is that you want people to know, but don't want to take forever to call people. Selfish. I think so. On the other hand, I was talking to Amy last night and it was funny, I just did not want to talk about me any more. I am pretty over it and won't let it consume me. On the other hand, I am in the middle of reviewing course materials for this hospitality class I am helping develop and feel a need to share why I blog (yes sister and mother you both asked on the same day).

Oh yes, everyone knows. I had to cancel my Dad's b-day party here over Balloon Fiesta. He was coming in Oct 11th and that is too soon after surgery. OH surgery. Here is what I have found out. Barring no major life emergencies, Sept 26th is the day. Shoooot, good thing it wasn't a day later, it would had been those 2's and 7's again and then I would have to reschedule!

So, I am set - today is T-13 for all of us that have opened hotels - those T - day's come flashing back.

Also, I have an idea for shirts. I am going to take T-shirts from Chris (you know the nice soft ones that he can't fit into any more) and do the ol' cut up the front, then have tabs to tie it together. I'll try it and see. From what I read, I'll want to wear normal clothes after the drains are out - 7-10 yukky days later.

My mom is coming down for the first week, then my sister. Oh almost forgot - home health care! I get someone to come to my house and empty the drains. Yippee! That way no one will pass out looking at that mess.

Those are updates for now. Back to my work at hand.

What to wear....

What a heck of a week! Here are just a couple of general observations. How can people afford to get sick? Really - I have been going through insurance hell. Short story - husbands new insurance (he changed jobs and he as an AWESOME policy) does not kick in and be the "primary" until I cancel my own. I spent ALL day Friday dealing with this. So, I canceled my policy - gave 30 days notice and guess what - not until October 31st. So, Nov. 1st is when his policy kicks in - 100% coverage for everything in network.

The bad thing is that I was fearful of using a local hospital here - Lovelace. I am sure all would had been fine, but they have not done a great job with the administration and it is topsy turvy. My current insurance is Presbyterian, the plan was to help "get me by" until I got situated in school etc. Then would figure it out. All of their in network people are with Pres which I have had great luck. So, the surgery - oh - did I tell you - mastectomy with reconstruction - will be at Pres. This all happened between Thursday at 11:30 and Friday at 8:30a.m. The scheduler at my Dr.'s office is to get back to me today....hoping for the 19th. Funny thing, Chris said, so then, surgery won't be until after Nov 1st? And, I said, nope, we press on. Worst case is that we pay the $2000.00 out of pocket max. Best case is $1000.00 for the hospital stay and his BCBS picks up the rest.

Here is how it went:
Tues - met with Dr.
Wed - met with Plastic Surgeon.
Thurs - met with the Dr. again. Gave her my decision. Mastectomy with reconstruction tram flap. Here is the reason. Her fear is that the cancer is more than DCIS in other areas due to the shift after getting the MRI, ultrasound and mammograms. She also would like to take the lymph nodes "just in case" and will some type of procedure to put dye into my nodes (via the nipple the day before surgery - OH MY ouch!) The recovery time and the hurt time is long. At least 2-3 weeks of hurt and no driving. I have been reading posts and one of my friends has a sister that did the same thing - I am going to ask her for reality. Anyhow, two night stay if all goes well and about 3 hour operation. The surgeon gets in an cuts the bad stuff out - the plastic surgeon goes in right after and fills it up with my stomach muscle. No nipple - that comes later, I am hoping to put that off until the other insurance kicks in! The decision is finally made, and for the first time I am finally accepting things as they are and what is to be. Until.....
Friday - dealt with the insurance "primary" question at 6a.m. (8a.m. EST), went to my radiation consult with the Dr. Great guy - maybe a few years younger than me. It sounds as if I don't have to have radiation treatments unless there are three things happening - 1)Invasive cancer 2) oh who cares - I don't think that the cancer is invasive so I'll stop there. I said good bye to the Dr. and said that I hope not to see him again!

Off to deal with ins. I went to the Pres office to xxl the ins. Found out that I could not until the end of Oct, blah blah blah and in between the blahs, the gal looked at me and said "is everything OK" - my response was "I am about to blow!". Yep - it had finally reached where it just was too much. No more. Then I had to re say to her, just to make sure that I was stuck with this policy, but the worst is the $2000.00. Yes true - it is what it is and life just has to move on. So, my day entire day may I add, was focused on something that I care not to focus on, by 2:30 p.m. I am finally close to home, grab a quick lunch and favorite Diet Limeade, head home to hop on a 3:00p.m. conference call. For that hour, I am normal. Now, only now, do I understand why so many people work during all of this. Work is not work, it is an escape. I love to work - and so, it really is my forget it all! Point of this - Friday's are my school day - writing paper day, and it did not happen. Let me ask all of you - with a 2 1/2 year old, when is the paper writing if it is not while she is in care. 4a.m. in the morning is my answer. Since I can't sleep that is a good time!

I took a breath on Friday evening and kept going all weekend. Now, I am back to Monday and have to finalize some stuff. Also, while my mom was here we talked through some things - such as what to wear. I bought a moo moo (I don't know if that is the correct spelling) but it is a "patio gown". Went to Dillards to find something that I can wear right after surgery. I wear mostly t-shirt type of shirts, nice and comfy, but over the head. So, I am now searching for easy to pull on type of things. Chris wouldn't let me buy the bright moo moo, plus it had snaps, I opted for the zipper one. Do people really pay 60 bucks for these ugly things? I got it at 75% off - 15 bucks and that is still too much!

Off I go to do some stuff today - it is Monday. More later.

Plastic Surgery

Oh my, what a difference between a Dr.s office and a Plastic Surgeons office! I visit Dr. G today to discuss what is happening. So, I walk in and to the left is the "spa" and to the right is the Dr.'s office. Spa treatments, you know, parafin, eye waxing and more! The good news is that this has been the most refreshing visit out of everyone! This Dr. is my age and just his statement that being this young, we are not supposed to be "sick". I said, I did not really look at it that way of being "sick", just want to "fix" it.

Finally got Chris' insurance information - I am doubly covered (and paying may I add) but at least that is not the bad side. Ok, what I understand, if I go with the full mastectomy, Dr. G will do the "tram" (what the hell) which is taking out my stomach muscle and putting in where my boob needs to be. The nipple will come later. How odd.

So, good news, I get a tummy tuck!

If I go with that lumpectomy, I have to go in after the surgery and get a boob lift. What that means is my good boob needs to be reduced and lifted. Ah - Ha, that sounds good too!! Which one, I just can't decide!

The recovery is going to be about 1 - 2 months for the mastectomy and less for the other. I just don't know.

I called today and Dr. Smith put me in at 11:00a.m. for tomorrow to talk to me. I think I finally will have some answers on what is what and dates. That is the worst part. Not knowing when.

Off to the zoo in the morning. I promised Lilli that we would go and see the tigers and lions. The mornings have been really nice! Then, I am taking her to my Dr.'s appointment. Poor girl!

Another Day another question

Here are photos from where I went on Friday.
Today I went to the Dr.'s office, my mom went with me. As it turns out, the area is bigger than expected and the Dr. fears that maybe she cannot get "clear margins" by just going in and getting out the area with a lumpectomy. I am heading over to the Plastic Surgeon in the morning. I have read and researched the different ways to do the reconstruction - not sure what he will say. I'll update when I find out.