This one was pretty easy

As I am day 5 after the taxol, most of the bone pain is gone. Thank heavens. My knock knock joke worked! Here is what has happened with each of my treatments – lots of getting rid of nasty stuff from my body. I imagine it as the toxic stuff goes in – attacks what it needs to and more, then wants to get out, any way possible. And, EVERY way possible. Had blood drawn today – please don’t make me have a shot due to low counts (is it red or white). I can’t believe how good I am and I am going to feel great by Thursday – that is a day early. Do a dance. One note, I have not been sleeping. Tonight I am so tired but just ate a bunch of cookies. Yes that is right. I’ll write that here because if you read the little diddy below you know it’ll be OK. It is girl scout cookie time – and my friend sent me my cookies. Her little girl won the most sold. Competitive early! I don’t know why I can’t sleep. But, tonight, I will do my best to get some steady sleep. Oh, I also wonder if other people going thru chemo have sensitive teeth. My back teeth are so sensitive that I can’t stand it. Hot tea, cold water, cookies – they all hurt. Yep I endured the pain for the yummy cookies. Oh, a couple of thoughts that I have noticed – people go out of their way to say thank you and how are you? Why – cause I have a bald head? Today I was at World Market – and the last thing the lady said was “how are you feeling” and then “it’ll spring soon” and I thought – if she would only know! I had thought that I would talk politics today – it is too late but all I can say is it is very interesting! Here is something my sister sent me.


Dear Girl Talk Gals,
The other day I was at lunch with some of my girlfriends and we were talking about our next girls only get away... yes we actually did it! We took our first annual trip last year and we are in the midst of planning this year's adventure. Something I strongly encouraged you all to do last April, so I led the way! When the possibility of a beach trip came up, there was an audible cringe out of at least two of us. The mere thought of putting on a swimsuit is enough to make a grown woman cry!
When I got home I flashed back to an experience I had a few years ago. I was searching for a photo for a new picture frame I'd just bought. I sorted through dozens of snapshots—the ones I keep telling myself I will some day put in adorable scrapbooks—but for now they sit in shoe boxes.
As I poured over the pictures I had a few good laughs going down memory lane. The good times, the bad times, and the what-were-you-thinking outfits and haircuts.
Then I found the unthinkable—an old picture of me in a bikini! My husband had managed to snap a shot of me on the beach with my kids. I was instantly transported back to that day over 15 years ago. I vividly remembered changing swimming suits three or four times that morning trying to find one that I could bring myself to wear.
As I thought back about the morning, and how self-conscious I felt about wearing a swimsuit, I felt really stupid. Because you know what—I didn't look half bad back then. And yet I wasted precious energy and time stressing out over my not perfect body. What an idiot!
Fifteen years later I would love to have that body back. That very same body I anguished over back then! It was a real ah-ha moment for me. Fifteen years from now I will most likely wish I had the body back that I have today.
The reality is even the women we think have perfect bodies aren't content. We are all spending way too much time on if-only. If only I didn't have these stretch marks. If only I wasn't sagging here or there. If only I didn't have these love handles.
The moral of the story is... love the body you have RIGHT NOW.
Learning to accept ourselves just the way we are is one of the hardest things to do. And one of the most important.
Think of all the energy we waste worrying about wrinkles, saddle bags, cellulite, belly pouch and gray hair. Does it really matter? NO. Never was that more clear than when I stared at that photo from fifteen years ago and lamented over the time and energy lost worrying about nothing. I vowed right then and there to spend my time appreciating health and well being instead of berating myself over silly things like stretch marks.
Don't waste another minute of your precious time worrying about cellulite! That is what self-tanner is for. Ha!
Let's start today loving and accepting ourselves, lumps and all.
I challenge you to give yourself the gift of perspective. Go get out an old photo of yourself. Remember what you worried about back then... Not so bad, huh? So be gentler with the body you have today.
With swimsuit season just around the corner let's all try to love the body we are with instead of the one we wish we had.
You are beautiful just the way you are!
Dream Big,
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