Santa is almost here

As I lay in the emergency room (more later) with Lilli on my chest, I was thinking, "Just be" "just be still". That is what I always used to say - I just wanted to be. Which means, to be and be OK within the element you are in. As I read a note from a long time friend and he mentioned that, I reflect and wonder if I am "being"? I don't know. It is more of looking at each day and surviving the day. Although I am sure many people say that they really thank someone for that day, there are days in which I just am looking at getting through it the best way I know how.I am also here to tell you that during this time of the Holidays, I am happy that I chose to set up the Chemo during this time. That way I don't have to worry about outside stressors. As of the 25th, I have a two week break from teaching a class that I was given in December. Things slow down a bit for everyone. And, I can say that hopefully by the New Year, I'll be on the upswing from the nausea. This last go, I had some really bad stomach problems that made me want to go on a liquid diet. Trust me, I won't go into details - but I do want to document it here that I encountered lots of yuck. Just drinking lots of water, taking my pills and hoping for the best. My "tummy tuck" doesn't like to be stretched at all. I have been really aware not to gain weight and will not in the near future. After my tummy troubles, this is really true!This week I go to the Dr. on Wed for my before Chemo visit. I am going to ask him when I will be cleared to get my nose pierced. Guess I can't do that during Chemo - so we will see. Then, I'll post it here when the date I'll be getting it. Others can join me virtually (and thank you all for the support). Send pictures and I'll upload them. Sisters unite I say!OK, so my poor little baby. She was a bit under the weather all week, coughing etc. Tried to get her into her Dr. on Friday - the Dr. was not in. So, I went to a local family practice. It was a BAD experience. They gave her penicillin and said it was an ear infection. Then on Sunday she woke up barfing. Yes, thank heavens this is my good week. Oh my, I would had had to pull strength from the bottom of my toes to deal with this. We ended up going to the emergency room at about 7:30a.m. They took chest xrays, and took blood, and inserted an IV, two bags of fluid and one bag of antibiotic. She did have an ear infection, and the Dr. says one lung has pneumonia. At 4:00p.m. they let us go. After a long long minute to minute, hour to hour trying to get Lilli not to concentrate on her IV. She was a trooper. Did not even cry for the IV. Ask her Dad how he did, that is a different story. So I ponder, as mothers, does anyone tell you how strong you have to be no matter what. Here is a funny. I put on one of my chemo hats and walked out the door that morning. I put my purple scarf around my neck. So, I ended up wearing my purple scarf on my head. What the heck, it matched my turtleneck!The 26th marks my 12 weeks post op. I was talking to my sister this last week, would I do it again? Would I have the reconstruction? Right now it is hard to say. The recoup time was really long. I still don't feel as if I can lift heavy things. It takes all of my might to lift Lilli and she is 35 pounds. So, I am going to let a little more time pass to make up my mind on this subject. Mostly what bothers me is the stomach. I don't think it is like a regular c section where they get you hip to hip. This always pulls and you know it is there. And, clothes fit differently.One last note - maybe this should had been my first words. Thank you everyone for your well wishes and your cards. It mean more than you will know. For a gal that usually is pretty good with thank you cards, I have not done such a great job through this ordeal to thank everyone. Just know that I really appreciate the cards, calls and well wishes. Merry Christmas everyone.


My sister was supposed help me with my head wrap - guess what - looks like I took up a new religion -

I had a client visit - put on the wig. Kept my noggin warm, still looks like a wig.