Muga Day

Today I had the Muga test. I called a friend right before the test because I was 15 minutes early for my 15 minutes before the actual appointment time. If I could take all of the times that I am early and put it in a jar - pull it out as needed. How nice. But, that does not work. I also was thinking that I should start carrying around some of those flashcards I was talking about earlier. Guess I need to make them first! So here is the scoop. Went in, got my blood drawn. Pic 1. Waited 40 minutes while the guy mixed my blood with the nuclear stuff. Seriously, he comes out with this big thing that looks very scary and at the top was the syringe. I did not want to look. I don't want to know!!!! Now, for all of you that have not had shots or blood drawn lately, if the person starts asking you about your personal life, you know that they are trying to get your mind off of the NEEDLE. I felt a little poke, and then - he said - is that puffing up. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD! The vein is puffing up - this is not good. I look at him and say, yes - it is puffed. And then, he tried to push a bit of my "blood" back. OUCH. He pulled out the needle and put a cotton thing on it. The vein just burst. I just don't want to know at this point. I am sure it heals quickly!

He put it in another vein and all was good.

Then, I went into the room and got into the machine. The images took about an hour to do. I had to wear this thing around my arms to hold them because they slide the armrests back. Can't explain it - but it was not comfortable. THEN he put the machine coming right down on me and I said - hey don't break the new boob!!!!! Seriously, I did say that and it really was resting on my boobs.

It is hard to see on the screen but the computer, each square is an image of my heart pumping that stuff thru it. This is a baseline test. As he explained, if I get exhausted during chemo it maybe because damage to the heart.
Here is my hand with the bursted vein and the good vein.









I have slipped back into my old ways of being busy so by the end of the day I am pooped, but press on. For those of you that know people that go through this or something similar, just remember, it take a long time to come back 100%. I don't have the tolerance for silly things and I am not going to spend my energy on negative things. Which goes back to talking to my friend earlier in the day. Over the years, I have had some people that have drained the life out of me. And, I have chosen to not stay in contact with those people. Other friends, it seems as if I talk to one or two friends during the week, it is so refreshing to hear about normal stuff. Not about this crap that I am going through. So, I am trying to listen more, talk less. I listened to the Human Kind radio program today. I can't find it, I think they piece it together - but here is a link:http://www.humanmedia.org/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=39.
Get your hankies out - this is powerful. I think it is such a great idea - dying with grace. Coordinating volunteers, people come from around the world to volunteer their services of unconditional love. No motives, nothing but just really being there for another human. And then I thought how New Mexico is magical, and it would be such a great place to have that here for people. You know me, lots of ideas! Some stick others don't.

I also highly recommend just going to www.humanmedia.org and looking for David Allen.

I went to the health sciences library to meet my group. It is such a beautiful library, I think I should try it for a while.

Happy to say that tomorrow is Friday. I am ready to relax for an hour or so. Saturday is fun day. There is a children's book fair at school and then a huge art fest. Next weekend is the crane celebration. Hope I am well enough to attend. I think that the 3 pills I picked up today (you know the $350 worth). Some of the side effect of this drug - vomiting, hair loss, constipation, diarrhea .....wait a minute - why am I taking these - I thought it was to avoid nausea.

Enough for tonight. Did I mention the word of the night last night - meta cognitive.