I have been busy - and now I can breathe

It has been a long time. A long time. Several people have asked me how I feel. I feel 75%. I feel older, as if my body has aged from the inside out. My knee's are worse, my veins, don't get me started - it is hard to fine a "good one" and I am thankful that today's blood draw was without event! So, enough whining -

In a strange way, I have always loved the snow - lots of snow where you can't move snow. The Chicago snow that is up to your thigh. The deep powder on the side of Vail mountain. Snow glorious snow. Yet, I never will live in a place with too much - as much as I love to play in it - I so don't love to drive in it. Hopefully with that being said - we will have a white Christmas this year. As I was thinking of each of you on Winter Solstice - it is my mom that shared with me the following:

Dear Heron Dancers,
The Shortest Day of the Year Just Passed
The winter woods are white now
Quiet and peaceful.
I left my cabin today
For a walk through the woodsAnd snow.
Big white flakes, filling deer
And coyote tracks.
A pileated woodpecker
Hammers an old pine tree
Sustenance.
My dog looks at me with eyes that wonder if he should investigate or ignore.
I stop to listen and watch.
He does too.
Then we walk on together,
Through the white, white
Falling snow.
The longest night of the year
Behind us now.
A new year just ahead.
A fresh new year, just ahead.
What will it bring?
Change, change.
Change will come with this New Year.
Keep growing, keep moving.
Keep learning, keep stretching.
Keep walking these woods.
This next year—hard work, challenge
And then a return
To peace, deep peace
In these woods.
In celebration of the Great Dance of Life,
Roderick W. MacIver

I have shared the secret of Heron Dance with several of you - but if you have a few extra dollars and want to be a part of such beautiful words - go to www.herondance.org and subscribe.

I am off to my 2nd to last infusion, it is a true push at this point. It is part of my life. As I was talking to someone today - they said - don't worry about bringing a dish - you have a Dr's appointment in the morning - and my response was - well, it is part of me. It really is just something that I work with. Such as today and many many other blood draws. Lilli has to go with me. Either she sits with me or sits in the chair across from me. Today - she got chocolate from the nurse - before lunch - oh my. But that is again just part of my world and those that need to do this. Just as my boob is my "stomach muscle" normal for right now is getting blood drawn. It is really a casual affair and I just don't make a big deal about it. Why, I think it is like a swear word for Lilli. If I react - it is that much bigger. Hell, there are lots of people that have to do this for years. And years. And only to lose their battle. So, I'll take what life is giving me right now. May I remind myself, I am on vacation. Wonderful vacation for two weeks!!!! I rented 4 movies today - Mamma Mia - as I was watching it I was reminded of my visit to the stage production about 6 years ago when my friend met me in St. Louis. It was great then and I still love musicals today. They put a charge in your body. Well, for some of us, the others - guess that is why not everyone goes to the theatre. OK. For someone that did not have anything to say, I am rambling.

Peace be with you on this day.