Sad News

I just can't stand this. I am numb. Here is my letter to a friend. The one I just wrote about.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot imagine the struggle that you went through supporting your husband every inch of the way. My hope is that you are now at peace as your husband is in a better place. I do not know what you are going through, nor do I ever want to feel that way. I do know that the end of life is in us all. Each of us will reach it in our own different way. My heart is really torn, I can remember writing an email saying that your husband and I could be "chemo" buddies. As life for us continues, I want you to know that some day you will return to the routine of the day, the week, the month. But now, it is living purposefully and with great appreciation of what surrounds you and what you choose to do with the time. I know that we talked of being strong, really what is that? We just get through as best as we can and come out the other side. Sometimes stronger yes, and sometimes questioning more. My thoughts are with you and your family. May your heart mend soon.

The news of her husbands death makes me so sad. On the other hand, it really makes me hold onto how I am living my life - as this cancer is real. Not that I thought it was fake before - but I think coming out the other side of it leaves a lot of questions in general. I also find it really interesting how people turn something like this 'experience" into something else. I happened on a website - and this lady did public speaking. What about? You guessed it. She could "key note" speak. Well, hats off to her - guess she has turned it into a money maker. As I sort through what I am focusing on for my studies - I am leaning towards doing something within the health service side - there has to be some tie to my organizational intergenerational workforce that goes hand in hand. I'll figure it out over the next year.

Here is what I noticed today. People don't look at me strange anymore. Well, they may because of the short hair - but not like the "bald" head. I am very happy about that! And soon, my hair will be back in at a length that will not promote any stares.

Off to do some running around and then go read books to Lilli's class.
Peace be with you.