Angry Gas Man

This evening, I'll add, this cold evening, we ventured out to get coffee for the morning. I looked and saw that I needed gas - went to Sams club. Just as I got out to pump the gas this guy is coming and yelling "the gas is slow and it has air in it" go and complain. Don't pay for air. Hell, with that in mind, I just decided not to push my luck! People are getting edgy and with the prices going to $4.00 - watch out!

So here is how it goes. Yesterday, I went to the dentist - 6 month check up. I reflect back to my last cleaning, I could barely lay in the chair. It was right before my chemo. This time I thought there was really something wrong - but nothing - my teeth are really sensitive due to the chemo - who knew that would be a side effect! So, then I got my toes done - my mothers day present to myself! And then I had an interview for an internship. What the hell I said, nothing to lose. It is with the city and sounds like I'll be working about 20 hours a week. Good by me. I am taking at least one class, maybe two. I feel as if I need a break for the summer and most likely will stick with one class. I want to kinda get my thoughts back in line, no chemo brain. I also want to start my walking or biking. I go in the morning to get my outline of what I am supposed to do to increase my strength, especially in my stomach.

Lilli is officially enrolled in a new pre-school. 5 days a week, and I am thrilled to get her into this small place. It is close to my school and close to my new job. Oh, I forgot to mention that I did get that job at the city. Speaking of that - let me tell you something. I am really thinking that everything happens for a reason. If we open ourselves and observe what is around us, there is a reason for what is happening to and at you. Here is what I mean. I had that 1st interview at a different place and that just did not work out. That same day, there was a posting for another internship and I applied. I got an email, set up an interview and met with two gals. Right off the bat it was good. The boss reminds me of a friend I had in Vail. I don't know who reads this anymore - but this gal reminds me of Leela. As it turns out, I had to bring my transcript to her today along with an application to get processed. I asked her if she would not mind if I got my nose pierced. I have been planning this for so long and thought if I do it and get to this job they may say yank it out. Then, I just said, (oh, forgot to say this - I wore my hair for the interview) I most likely will wear a head wrap when I come to work. Just to let her know. Then, she told me, her father is starting chemo on Monday and her family has no experience with this. Her eyes began to well up with tears. Lung cancer - stage 4. That is exactly the same cancer and stage with the gal that I sit with for my infusions on Fridays. So, I gave her a hug - she needed it. And then we talked about that for awhile. I said that I am very open about my journey and however I can be support - I can help. So, again, things for reasons. Strange.

It is late and I am so tired - do I see a theme in these postings!!!!!! But, it is time to go. I leave you with one thought - how many of you dodge tumble weeds on the way to work? Lilli and I have a blast on windy days dodging those darn things on our way to her babysitter.

Here is what I hope for the day that you read this. I hope that you really feel something today. Don't just go through the motions. Flip on the radio to a classical music station and turn it up loud, or listen to something that really stimulates you. Go buy a bouquet of flowers, for yourself and enjoy! I am finding that as I get back to my routine, I am forgetting to breathe, it is essential for me to really step back and take in what life is about, what life I am choosing to live, how do I want to live it. I am gaining back my control of my life. I want more of this and less of that, now I need to figure out this and that.

Peace be with you.