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Monday, June 30, 2008

Nice quote

As I entered my job this morning – I did not have my thermos of tea. Why should you ask? Well it is because we were a little off kilter this morning. It was Mom’s 70th and we had a blast. But, got home mid day yesterday and pooped from driving. Thought to ponder, why does driving make you tired, all you are doing is sitting and looking at the road. Anyhow, we spent the rest of the afternoon outside “reading” – Lilli with her books and me with the newspaper. Until the rain. We are not into Monsoon season yet – but in the afternoon there are showers. Good for the desert bad for the swamp coolers. I did all of my stuff late into the evening and we all got up later than usual – thus – no time for brewing the extra water for tea. Just enough for my to go cup.

I walked across the street to stretch my achy knees and got a cup of coffee. My new thing is Americano with extra room. And, if you want a great iced coffee, iced grande Americano in a Ventie cup with extra ice and extra room – then add two splenda’s and non fat milk. Yummy – ½ the price of an ice latte! But, here is long winded point. As my mom was opening gifts – Lilli was on her lap. Years before if it was Peyton and then before that was Sierra, so you get what I am saying – she always has that space for the kids. As I was sitting here sipping, I saw the quote from “The way I see it” #273 on the back of the coffee cup and I thought of my mom:
“All children need a laptop. Not a computer, but a human laptop. Moms, dads, grannies and grandpas, aunts, uncles — someone to hold them, read to them, teach them. Loved ones who will embrace them and pass on the experience, rituals and knowledge of a hundred previous generations. Loved ones who will pass to the next generation their expectations of them, their hopes, and their dreams.”
– General Colin L. PowellFounder of America’s Promise — The Alliance for Youth

So really, as most of you know we read a LOT in my house. There are times for the TV but Lilli loves to read. There is nothing like it and I am glad that we started early doing this.
That is my thought of the day. As far as the Tamoxifin – I think it is making my face break out – if it is not one darn thing it is another – I swear!
Peace be with you.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Just thoughts

It is hard to believe that 4 years ago I was going through my last IVF in Dallas. Seems like more than 4 years ago. My goodness what a change of a life for many many many reasons! I just got in touch with a longtime friend that I have not talked to in years. It really does amaze me how real friends can just pick up where they took off.

We both have been through such a transformation, just about the same time as well. When I step back, that is really strange. As I was telling him, where did we get the guts at time to just keep going, pulling from the bottom of our toes - some how we did it and we are so much better off now. And, to really relish in fact that we are who are today because of the experiences.

It is HOT HOT HOT. Really, I find it pleasant as long as you are in the shade. Since being sick, i like it a bit more being too hot vs too cold. I don't think that I said my Dr. put me on Tamoxifen - I think that is how you spell it. Only because (close your eyes and skip ahead if you don't want to know this) I am pre-menopausal. The real deal is that the concern is that I am more apt to get ovarian cancer now and if I have something in me that is prone to that - there is a large chance it'll happen. Good news is that is most likely not me. It would be a hereditary thing. I need to get a test sometime over the next year or so. One thing or the next - there is always something.

I am pooped. I have tons to do and not enough time. It always is that way it seems. We are heading up to Mom's for a big birthday weekend. Should be fun. It also will be a bit cooler.

Hope all is well.
Peace be with you.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

As I read the Sunday paper today, the local paper highlighted the Relay for life. And mentioned was one of my "Spa' chemo sitting buddies. I just saw her last week at the Komen walk. The reality has it, her cancer just won't go away. It is something that is really not talked about - rather just known. I felt a bit numb and sad. How can it be.

The article also reminds me not to slip into my shoes without remembering that I have changed. It is easy to do - back to the routine. Back to the craziness. Could I have ever felt so icky? Yes. The ringing in my ears, the pull in my left side, all reminders.

I am pooped - another day - another week to enjoy - and then on to my moms birthday party!
Peace be with you.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The hair is here


Take a look at some photos from last week. Lilli took this top one.
Off I go to work.
Here you can really see that the hair is coming in.

I am going to have to learn how to use some of the bells and whistles soon. Here is just a note for today since I have not written for a while. I took this "nia" class. Holy crap - imagine this - surrounded by mirrors, dancing moves that you have no idea and I am overweight!!! Plus I pay for this - crazy!

So, I think I'll go back for more on Thursday! I committed to doing this at least one time a week and it is something new. I also think I'll explore that cardio area in the gym - when the kids get out of it - urgh.

Yesterday I flashed back to when I first started this journey. Why you may ask. I waited in the Dr.'s office 1 hour and 20 minutes before he saw me. That is too long and I am going to try and find a solution. What on earth is going on with this nation. So, the next time I make an appointment at that location should I just say - see you around 4ish give or take an hour.

On that note - time for me to do some work -
Peace be with you today.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

just thoughts

It is almost Friday the 13th - and happy birthday to my little friend Harry. For some reason I just have the side ways feelings today - don't know why. As I left the workout place yesterday, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach - next to the building is NM Cancer Center. My thoughts are that someone today is being told they have cancer, and the journey starts. Mostly, here is what I have learned as a cancer patient. When you look OK, then you are expected to be OK. All is "normal". That is the farthest from the truth. How can I be the person that I was before. I could I not have a different worldview? Why on earth would I just accept life as it was when I know that I can keep the good and change the other. Sometimes it may just be me, selfish as it is, to start the change. If I just slip back into what was, how can I leap to what will be? So, enjoy a nice lemonade and do some reflecting. Do you take the time to "just be", or is that not allowed? I love the time that I have walking to work. It is only a few minutes, but it makes me feel good.

More so, here is my funny thought. Thank heavens I don't have to worry about my hair blowing in the wind! It has been breezy. And, drum roll please................I put gel in my hair and spiked it today. I took pictures to show you, but it is so late and I am so tired and tomorrow is a long day. Gotta go to bed.

Peace be with you.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

And Celebration was had by nose and all


What the heck is that I wonder?






















Here I am in San Diego. Finally, after years of not seeing my friend we spent a delightful few hours together. She is just the smartest person around! I also met her beautiful daughter. My goodness, it is hard to believe when we met it was 12 years ago!!!



Here I am in all of my hair glory at the convention center bubble thing. I got many stares, what it due to my long locks? Are people jealous of my beautiful red hair?

































TA DA! I have am amethyst in my nose.











look at that long needle. My eye is watering at this point.

A few thoughts to ponder - do you ever wonder as you are flying - who the heck lives THERE?